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- These tips are based on my personal experiences. The effectiveness are relatability of the points below will vary based on an individual’s personality.
In my previous post, 5 Things Moving Abroad Has Taught Me About Learning a Language, I mentioned I would talk more about my experience moving abroad to a country whose first language isn’t English as an introvert with general and social anxiety. Well, today is the day. Here has been my experience so far and tips to help those of you thinking or have just moved to a new country with issues similar to mine. For those of you who really want a look into my personality and are into the Myers-Briggs personality types, I am an INFJ. For those of you more into astrology, I’m a Taurus; so, the fear of change is totally real.
You might be wondering “Why share all of this information about yourself? Doesn’t it seem to be a little too personal to throw online?” You’re not wrong. I am a pretty quiet person and don’t share much about myself with many people, but I know others may be going through the same issues. I want them to know that they’re not alone and they’re not wrong, boring, or whatever other people have called them just because of their shyness or anxiety. Everyone adjusts at their own pace, and these are the tips I discovered helped me adjust much quicker to the literal 180-degree shift in my life as an introvert with depression and general/social anxiety.
1. Take Your Time Adjusting
If you’re reading this and are planning to move abroad, there’s a good chance that you signed at least a 1-year contract to live in the country. At least, that was my situation. So, don’t feel like you have to be adjusted the next day. Personally, I had never lived abroad before… To be completely honest with you, I had never even lived outside of my home state back in the U.S. prior to moving abroad. This was a completely terrifying transition to me, but once I arrived at my apartment after the orientation I went through, I was thrown back into the reality of my introverted fear of change and certain social situations.
Unfortunately, the reality was that I was terrified of people talking to me and not being able to respond to them… The social anxiety spike was real. I was so terrified that I didn’t even leave my house for two weeks, other than going to work and the grocery store next to my apartment. I didn’t talk to anyone or let my guard down for at least a month. I always looked at my phone or put my headphones in while I was walking down the street.
Looking back, it was a complete waste of time. In reality, most people kept to themselves anyway and was living their own life, not paying attention to me and mine, but it was my defense mechanism. It was how I coped to the “fight or flight” instinct of moving to a new place, especially a place where English isn’t the first language.
Long story short, take your time adjusting; it’s not a race. Each person has a different adjustment period, and you’ll get the more you get out, the easier it’ll become. I’ve lived in Korea for 7 months now, and thanks to my awesome friends going with me to different places, I have gained a lot of confidence to try new things, talk to more people directly instead of shying away, and have become a little more independent overall.
2. Watch Others Living Near You
When I first moved to Korea, I didn’t know that every city had its own way of disposing of rubbish/garbage/trash/whatever you want to call things you throw away. I thought I had had a pretty good understanding of what to expect when I visited my friend the year before in Cheonan (천안), but I was wrong. I remember walking into my apartment and seeing two different types of containers to dispose of things (one for plastics and glass, and one for food waste), not including the typical trash bag (for everything else). I highly respect the thoroughness of this system, but as an American, I was very overwhelmed at how much I had to remember just to dispose of things.
Luckily, the previous tenant (the previous English teacher) had left a few notes on how to operate the heating system, gas line for the stove, and a note on where to put the garbage and when it’s picked up. Without her, I would have been lost for a few weeks (Shout-out to Teacher Jo! You’re a life-saver!)
Ultimately, just take the time to observe what your neighbors do. For example, if you don’t know how to order something at a cafe? Take some time to look at the menu while other people order and listen to how they order. As always, if you’re brave enough, just ask, but if not, think of a way you can observe those around you accomplishing the thing you want without causing alarm to them or other people around them.
3. Get Involved in Events and Organizations
As much as I dislike social media, social events are some of the best ways to find things to do and meet new people while living abroad. I remember going to my first social event a few months ago with my friend; a beginner watercolor painting class organized by another native English teacher at one of the popular bars in my city. It was only a small group of 5 people, but I was about to learn a lot about what to expect in the coming year as an English teacher. I was also able to talk to them about the different opportunities and education levels that are available in the city. Being able to hear other teachers’ experiences made me feel much better about what I was feeling like a new teacher in Korea. I was also able to attend different events with different groups, such as being able to see a home game at our city’s baseball stadium! (Go Lions!)
You can also find a place or two that were specifically made to facilitate language and cultural exchange between foreigners and natives while also serving as a social community. The one I am a part of will have outings at least once per month to just hang out and talk. In the States, I usually had my co-workers to talk to about everything, but it’s a little more difficult here. I have wonderful co-workers I can talk to at work, but in the States, I worked at a university and my co-workers were mostly master’s and Ph.D. students who were closer to my age. So, there were more opportunities to go out and do things compared to now, where my co-workers have families they have to take care of and go home to. We don’t get as many opportunities to go out. Therefore, I have had to find new ways to make friends I’ve never experienced before.
Even though we introverts prefer to spend a lot of time to ourselves to recharge, we’re still humans and need in-person social interactions. Going to a class/event or joining a local community will be a huge benefit to your life abroad. 🙂
4. Make At Least 1 Friend
There’s a joke that always circulates around the introverted/extroverted community, which is the way introverts meet new people and experience new things is by being “adopted” by an extrovert… and that’s partially true, at least for me. We do have the capability to meet new people, go out, and make new friends on our own, but sometimes it’s extremely nerve-racking. Had I not made friends (or been “adopted”) by many of my extroverted friends, I probably wouldn’t have experienced as many things as I have, but I can also experience awesome things with my introverted friends; they’re usually just a little more low-energy than my extroverted friends. Regardless of their place of the intro/extrovert scale, they’re all awesome people, and my life here would not be the same without them. Honestly, had it not been for going out with one of my closest friends here, I would have never discovered this awesome tunnel-like place in my area that shows constellations on the ceiling and the mythology behind the Western Zodiac symbols in Korean! It’s SO cool!
Take the time to make at least one friend during your stay in a foreign country. You never know what kind of possibilities will open up for you when you do.
5. Download the Country’s Main Navigation Apps
I know how much information Google has on Google Maps and have used it for years, so I thought there would be enough information to get around Korea pretty well… It does a decent job, but because Google isn’t based in the country where I now live. I have noticed some limitations, specifically when I want to zoom in to specific areas to look at information about a business on the map.
My advice is to download the major navigations and transportation applications specifically for the country you’re in to help with navigation. Use something like Google Maps as a starting point since it’s in English, but try to use apps created by companies where you’re living to give you a better idea of alternative routes and information on businesses that you could only get from people native to that country or who have been living there for a long time. For example, the apps I use in Korea are KakaoMaps and Naver Maps. Normally, if I click an external link, it will open in Google Maps, but when I copy and paste the address into one of the apps that was actually developed in Korea, I sometimes get better route options and a better street view. This may sound like a small upgrade, but for people who are visual learners like me, it will help to be able to see a clearer picture of the buildings surrounding the area you want to visit.
